I recently returned from vacation in Tulsa, so I apologize for the lack of activity! But I'm back, refreshed and ready to roll!

When I look back at my journey to start a handbag line, I often question my motivation for doing it. I have always wanted to be an entrepreneur. ALWAYS. It's not money that motivates me, although yes, that is a big part of it. I think I can make more working for myself than for someone else. But my main motivator is freedom. I hate being depressed on Sunday because I have to go back to work the next day. I hate that 50 hours of my time each week is dictated by this job that I don't feel passionate about. I've always been blessed with incredible bosses. But I could have the best boss & job in the world, making alot of money, and yet I don't think I would be truly happy inside. I just want to own my day. I want to wake up and be excited that I am in control of my schedule.

I started working on a handbag business because I love handbags and because I wanted my own business. I love merchandising. I love walking through a department store and looking at all the different brands. I love the idea of branding a product. I find it fascinating that some brands don't necessarily have the most stylish products, but the brand recognition and reputation it has established still can sell the product. I want to build a brand. That's why I decided that the challenge of creating a handbag line would be fun and exciting. And it has been...although I have not yet established my Denney brand...it's still in the works. But the journey is fun. I just wish I had made some smarter decisions in the beginning. Decisions such as spending way too much money(debt money) on things I didn't need. Industrial sewing machine, expensive leather not cost-effective for a handbag business, PR services that I wasn't ready for and samples before my sketches were good enough are just a few examples. One thing I wish I had had early on was a mentor. Someone who had been there and could help me strategize and avoid dumb mistakes. Mistakes are going to happen. That's how you grow and learn. But my mistakes cost me alot of money. Precisely why I founded fashionCEO. I like to think of it as a mentor for independent designers.

Last year, while I was having my official leather bag samples made, I started to wonder if I really liked designing handbags. Deep down I felt a bit like an imposter. Like I didn't really know what I was doing, but I was just forging ahead trying to make something of it because I had already invested so much time and money. I had to really sit down and take a real look at what I was doing and why I was doing it. I've been disappointed with a couple of my designs. I had to be honest with myself. Do I like designing bags? Do I want to travel around the country and sell bags at tradeshows? Do I want to hit the pavement and sell my bags to boutiques myself. Can I do that? Can I afford to do this? The answer to some of these questions was no. Did I like the fashion business and handbags...definitely yes! But was I willing to do what it takes to get it off the ground? I wasn't sure. I was starting to feel a little burnout and I hadn't even gotten started yet! So I set the bags aside, just for the time being, to start fashionCEO. I've sinced realized that I'm not a designer imposter. I design cute bags! And I will sell them eventually. But I needed to take an honest look at myself and find out what motivates me. As soon as I started fashionCEO I could feel my energy boost. I can work 12-15 hours a day on it and still not want to put my computer down. I'm doing something that fits my personality. It feels right. I'm helping others do something they feel passionate about, and that makes me feel good. And I'm interacting with designers who are accomplishing things that I haven't yet, so I'm learning how to be a better designer in the process. It's very cool.

If you have a nagging feeling in the back of your mind, don't ignore it. Sit down and take an honest look at yourself. Don't force something on yourself if its not feeling right. Maybe you've always wanted to design a baby bag, but you've invested too much in evening bag designs, or maybe you've been dreaming of making wedding dresses, but thought handbags would be easier. Whatever it is, its never too late to change direction. Listen to your inner voice. Mine gets ignored sometimes, but I find when I listen to it, I'm much happier and when I'm happier, I'm much more creative. :)